Church

What If?

/ alphabetsoupandjesus / 1 Comment

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve spent a large portion of time contemplating how I want the world to see me. What kind of Jesus do I show them, and what kind of Jesus do they see? How do they view Christianity as a whole, and how does that compare to the Christianity I show them? What I found wasn’t what I wanted, and I now realize that I have changes to make.

When I was young, it was pretty common to hear the person behind the pulpit to say something like, “Christ should shine through you so much, that when people find out you’re a Christian they’ll say, ‘Oh, that makes sense! I knew there was something different about them.'” The scary thing about that quote is that people are saying it these days for a completly different reason. Christianity is no longer viewed by the world as something to run to, it’s something to run from.

Why? Becuase we as Christians get so wrapped up in the semantics of church practices, lingo, and mannerisms that we forget how to do half of what Christ commanded us to do: love. We get angry with other Christians over semantics. We protest abortion clinics and are quick to judge and yell at those going in them. We are quick to point out that everybody who who doesn’t look, talk, or believe like us is going straight to Hell without even passing “Go”. We tell people that the media they consume, the version of the Bible they read, the church they go to, the way they dress, or even the way they wear their hair are all sins, because that’s what we believe.

All of that amounts to us talking about God’s grace and love while we’re holding a stone in our hands ready to put a person to death. When did we determine that was okay? When did we determine that yelling, and anger, and judgement were what will lead people to Christ. When did we stop showing compassion? When did we stop comforting those who hurt? When did we stop being the hands and feet of Christ? Whatever that answer is, it’s caused the world to run away from us, they’d rather go anywhere else than to the cross of Christ, because of how Christians have been portraying it.

I don’t know about you, but the idea of people being opposed to Jesus because of my actions is terrifying; so it’s time to change.

I said earlier that we forgot how to do half of what Christ commanded, which is simply to love. Let’s dig into that. In Matthew 21 and 22 the religious leaders were gunning for Christ. He had thrown the money changers out of the temple in (righteous) anger (Matthew 21:12-13). The religious leaders weren’t a fan of that, and set out to trap him. They asked him question after question, trying to get him to mess up and, he evaded them seamlessly. Then this happened:

But when the Pharisees heard that he had put the Sadduccees to silence, they were gathered together. Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying Master which is the great commandment in the law? And Jesus said unto him. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul with all thy mind, This is the first and the great commandment. The second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Matthew 22:34-40

One of my favorite things about this passage is that the lawyer thought he was being smart about the whole thing, and Jesus was like: “Hey let’s sum up the Ten Commandments in two sentences and tell them that all of the other stuff that they’re stuck on hangs on those two.” But that’s not even the best part. The best part is found in the word “love.” In these two verses, the word “love” is from the Greek “agapao” (G25) which is described as the love that God has for us. It’s a perfect self-sacrificing love.

Let’s take that a step further, how did Christ SHOW us how to love when he interacted with people? Think about it. Time after time after time we see Christ interact with those the most religious deemed the most despicable, and time after time after time we see him being kind, gentle, and compassionate, even when confronting them about their sin. The only time Christ even remotely gets angry or upset is when he’s dealing with the religious leaders who should have known better.

Back to those examples in the beginning. How is getting angry with Christians over semantics loving our neighbor? What if we stopped arguing and started communicating enough to realize that we’re not all going to agree on everything? What if, instead of protesting abortion clinics and harassing the people going in, we pray for them, direct them to women’s centers that provide education and resources to raise a child? What if instead of freaking out because someone doesn’t read the same version of the Bible we do, we take time to teach them how to study? What if, instead of worrying about all those church practices, and lingo we remembered how to enjoy the grace and love that we were given?

The Church and Suicide

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I’m going to be honest, in the churches I’ve attended and the sermons I’ve listened to, even outside those churches, I don’t think I’ve heard a sermon on suicide or mental health in general. In fact, the only mentions of suicide I remember hearing in a sermon were those of a spiritual aspect, in that it was a sin and the person would go to Hell.

I don’t know if those positions hold truth, so I’m not going to speak as to whether they do or don’t, but I do know that if the goal is to help and reach someone who is suicidal, there are more beneficial ways to go about it.

Pastors and Teachers:

As I said before, in my experience, suicide isn’t talked about in the church, and if it is, it’s presented in a way that can make those struggling to stay afloat feel like the suicidal thoughts and ideations they’re having are solely their fault and that they did something wrong to cause these things to happen.

While I’m sure sin has the propensity to cause those things, there are a host of other things that cause suicidal thoughts and ideations that have no relation to sin. And simply saying that suicide is sin, selfish, wrong, etc., is only going to be harmful and could possibly be a catalyst that propels a person to attempt to end their life.

To clarify, suicide and it’s ideations aren’t selfish. If a person is struggling with these ideations, there’s a good chance that their reasons are to ease someone else’s pain. They may see themselves as a burden, or liability whether physically, mentally, or financially. Please, please, keep this in mind when you, as a person in authority, speak on this subject.

Normalize Mental Health in your Church

That doesn’t necessarily have to be doing grandiose actions. It can look like making a point to say that things like depression and anxiety can be caused by sin and by other factors like trauma and genetics and clarifying to which one you are speaking to. While this isn’t directly related to suicide, this could put the people struggling at ease to know that you see the distinction between sin related mental health and medical related mental health and thus possibly make themselves more open to come to you.

Know your Limits in a Counseling Capacity

As people who are often sought out for advice, it’s really important to know when you need to advise someone to seek help for their issue when it’s more than you are qualified for, or have experience with. Suicide isn’t something that should be taken lightly, and since suicidal thoughts are intrusive (meaning that a person has no control over them), you’ve got to be careful about how you approach someone dealing with them. Yes, by all means pray for them. Yes, by all means, if you have experience with this share it. Yes, if you have knowledge on how to help them go for it, but also don’t be hesitant to direct them to a medical professional or organization who would be better equipped to help them.

Christians in General

Listen

Don’t jump in with a churchy saying or Bible verse that helped you right away. Just listen to what the person is trying to say. If you’ve been trusted with someone opening up to you about suicidal thoughts and ideations, take it as a privilege. Don’t rush to give them an anecdote, just try to hear what they are saying. Ask questions for clarification, but don’t negate their beliefs or experiences, just be there, and be kind.

(Of course, if the danger is imminent, please contact the proper authorities and/or a suicide hotline.)

Follow Through

One of the most important things you can do for a person who is struggling with this, as a Christian, is keep your word. If you offer to call them or visit them daily/weekly/monthly etc., do it. If you offer to pray for them, do it. Knowing that they have one person in their corner can literally change their entire world, please take that seriously.

I get this topic is controversial, uncomfortable, and downright scary. As someone who has lived through those ideations, I can confirm that it’s terrifying to open up and express what you’re feeling. It’s also terrifying to have those things expressed to you, and that’s perfectly okay. If you get anything from this series, I want it to be that kindness, honesty, and openness can go a long way in helping people who struggle with suicidal thoughts and ideations.