I’m going to be honest, in the churches I’ve attended and the sermons I’ve listened to, even outside those churches, I don’t think I’ve heard a sermon on suicide or mental health in general. In fact, the only mentions of suicide I remember hearing in a sermon were those of a spiritual aspect, in that it was a sin and the person would go to Hell.

I don’t know if those positions hold truth, so I’m not going to speak as to whether they do or don’t, but I do know that if the goal is to help and reach someone who is suicidal, there are more beneficial ways to go about it.

Pastors and Teachers:

As I said before, in my experience, suicide isn’t talked about in the church, and if it is, it’s presented in a way that can make those struggling to stay afloat feel like the suicidal thoughts and ideations they’re having are solely their fault and that they did something wrong to cause these things to happen.

While I’m sure sin has the propensity to cause those things, there are a host of other things that cause suicidal thoughts and ideations that have no relation to sin. And simply saying that suicide is sin, selfish, wrong, etc., is only going to be harmful and could possibly be a catalyst that propels a person to attempt to end their life.

To clarify, suicide and it’s ideations aren’t selfish. If a person is struggling with these ideations, there’s a good chance that their reasons are to ease someone else’s pain. They may see themselves as a burden, or liability whether physically, mentally, or financially. Please, please, keep this in mind when you, as a person in authority, speak on this subject.

Normalize Mental Health in your Church

That doesn’t necessarily have to be doing grandiose actions. It can look like making a point to say that things like depression and anxiety can be caused by sin and by other factors like trauma and genetics and clarifying to which one you are speaking to. While this isn’t directly related to suicide, this could put the people struggling at ease to know that you see the distinction between sin related mental health and medical related mental health and thus possibly make themselves more open to come to you.

Know your Limits in a Counseling Capacity

As people who are often sought out for advice, it’s really important to know when you need to advise someone to seek help for their issue when it’s more than you are qualified for, or have experience with. Suicide isn’t something that should be taken lightly, and since suicidal thoughts are intrusive (meaning that a person has no control over them), you’ve got to be careful about how you approach someone dealing with them. Yes, by all means pray for them. Yes, by all means, if you have experience with this share it. Yes, if you have knowledge on how to help them go for it, but also don’t be hesitant to direct them to a medical professional or organization who would be better equipped to help them.

Christians in General

Listen

Don’t jump in with a churchy saying or Bible verse that helped you right away. Just listen to what the person is trying to say. If you’ve been trusted with someone opening up to you about suicidal thoughts and ideations, take it as a privilege. Don’t rush to give them an anecdote, just try to hear what they are saying. Ask questions for clarification, but don’t negate their beliefs or experiences, just be there, and be kind.

(Of course, if the danger is imminent, please contact the proper authorities and/or a suicide hotline.)

Follow Through

One of the most important things you can do for a person who is struggling with this, as a Christian, is keep your word. If you offer to call them or visit them daily/weekly/monthly etc., do it. If you offer to pray for them, do it. Knowing that they have one person in their corner can literally change their entire world, please take that seriously.

I get this topic is controversial, uncomfortable, and downright scary. As someone who has lived through those ideations, I can confirm that it’s terrifying to open up and express what you’re feeling. It’s also terrifying to have those things expressed to you, and that’s perfectly okay. If you get anything from this series, I want it to be that kindness, honesty, and openness can go a long way in helping people who struggle with suicidal thoughts and ideations.